There are two types of dnd players.
Those who want to live the fantasy of being able to afford rent.
And those who want to fuck monsters.
Why are people always so dualistic in their categorizations?! What if I want to be able to afford rent and fuck monsters?!
I propose a third type, who just want to paint the world red.
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I am so sick of these unrealistic body standards.
Cyanide! Don’t stick your dick in crazy!
I see your point, but what if she’s really hot?
But don’t stick your dick in crazy!
It’s worth it
He’s hopeless, he’s lost.
If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.
I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.
Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.
Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.
Anatomically incompatible, probably.
Bro, the genre’s called fantasy for a reason.
Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be…
She doesn’t love you, you’re the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs
Not true! She ate a monkey yesterday. …and she grabbed it before she ate it.
Beggars can’t be choosers.
Why is your dream a tiny filthy goblin? You can do better.
Like a big filthy goblin?
I am a big filthy goblin pretty much. A hobgoblin, if you will.
knobgobblin’
Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance
you’re aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.
Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.
Anatomically incompatible meaning… Well… You ever tried to put a sausage inside a garden hose?
I can fix her
I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible
Making a lot of assumptions and claims about a literal fantasy creature.
Sure, but I’m probably right, based off franchise lore.
If a
cute goblinwoman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.FTFY
