If I have beef with someone, I could punch them and go to jail.
But I can also bully them, humiliate them, degrade them, psychologically annihilate them even, and that’s fine, legallly. Why?
Well, you can and it’s called harassment. This likely varies on the state or country, but in my state it’s illegal. As usual, if a person gets arrested for this likely depends on the mood of the officer that might have witnessed it, the length of time it’s been going on and if death threats are involved.
In reality, it’s just magnitudes easier to see if someone got punched in the eye.
Oh please, show me the officer that arrests the workplace bully.
If it’s in the workplace you should actually have more agency to do something through HR, but this depends on where you work…
To clarify: I don’t have an issue. I have a coworker I’d like to punch. The alternative strategies I’m taking because I can’t punch him are leaving me feeling dirty.
Are you saying you’re the workplace bully?
No, I’m asking why can’t I just punch a guy who deserves it.
Because you aren’t a 6 year old and have to use your big boy words in the adult world.
Because society is so terrified of the technologies we have created that it has adopted the ideal that everything needs to be perfect right here and now, and so any deviation from acting out that Utopian fantasy is met harshly, even though it’s obviously not true to any rational person.
I think a lot of people would also punch you after this thread
You can punch them, but it’s battery. The same way you can mentally assault them, but that’s harassment.
Why not just ask this question in the OP?
“Who deserves it”
For what reason? You’re being awfully vague here. You’re awfully invested in causing harm to someone for extremely vague reasons.
Punching him feels dirty because its fucked up. Stop looking for a different avenue to be fucked up that you’re going to be more mentally okay with. Disgusting behavior.
You are 100% the bully. Normal people don’t seek out ways to cause harm.
So you can’t physically abuse your coworker but you can mentally and you want to know if you’re going to get into trouble for doing so?
No. Ostracizing just seems soo much more harmful. It seems kinda backwards to me. What’s an acceptable response and what’s not. That’s all.
You are right for feeling dirty, maybe reconsider everything about the situation and work on why would you even let hatred be part of your work environment.
It’s possible, but unlikely because there needs to be proof and it needs to be extremely serious. That is the reason I mentioned death threats, actually.
The biggest problem is that even though harassment is clearly defined in my state, “harassment” is still likely subjective.
In South Africa, where I live, that kind of thing is a criminal offense known as crimen injuria.
From Wikipedia:
Crimen injuria is a crime under South African common law, defined as the act of “unlawfully, intentionally, and seriously impairing the dignity of another.” Although difficult to precisely define, the crime is used in the prosecution of certain instances of road rage, stalking, racially offensive language, emotional or psychological abuse, and sexual offences against children.
There are also a good number of other laws that deal with child abuse, so offenders won’t just get slapped with a crimen injuria charge on their criminal record and say it was just road rage when questioned.
Its not fine at all. What you describe is a crime, but very difficult to prosecute, so usually ignored.
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But I can also bully them, humiliate them, degrade them, psychologically annihilate them even, and that’s fine, legallly.
It’s not legal in a lot of cases
Why?
It’s very hard to prove beyond a reasonable doubt
Because its easily measurable
My follow-up thought. Would so many people not rather be hit once than ostracized forever from a group?
Isn’t a punch or a slap or a headlock better any social or mental punishment? It becomes almost therapeutic for both parties.
Mutual combat wasn’t uncommon when I was a kid. When two men were sick of each other’s shit, they would fist fight. They wouldn’t fight dirty. When the fight was over they’d often shake hands, and be done with that conflict. The wounds would heal within a couple of weeks. Emotional wounds from harassment and betrayal sometimes never heal.
Right! Thank you, this is what I’m looking for.
