The Mona Lisa as an audiobook.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day: The Linux Distro

Hazards of Love by the Decemberists would make such an amazing stage musical. The story is all in there, a lost child raised by the woods, a forbidden romance, a betrayal by the scorned mother with the ultimate death of the lovers together! Tie in with the rake B story for the intermissions and you have everything you need to work with.

It would be a majestic mix of Rock ballad and Shakespearian tragedy.

I want Roland Emmerich to make a movie out of the short story A Pail of Air.

tl;dr/spoiler: ~20 years ago, a black hole passed through the solar system and captured the Earth, dragging it inexorably away from the Sun. This causes great earthquakes, tsunami, and other immediate civilization-ending catastrophes, but the real disaster comes when the atmosphere freezes and falls like snow to the ground. The original story follows a young boy born after the cataclysm whose chores include collecting buckets of frozen air.

The Divine Comedy to a high budget high quality movie.

The 1812 Overture to braille

I want an animated show of the Stormlight Archives. Something in the style of the Netflix Castlevania series or similar. I don’t think a live action show could do it justice without an insane budget.

Bobiverse tv show. But even getting the rights for the pop culture references would be too hard to pull off

Blood Meridian as an illustrated children’s book.

I want pjvm’s web comic, Techno Mage, to be a cartoon. I’d watch it.

I would like to see Gantz adopted as an American TV series.

I think it would be interesting what it would say about MAGA.

Waiting for that Bioshock Movie

Oooh. I want the cartoon mini-series Over the Garden Wall to be adapted into a stage show. With the way the episode are written, it already feels like it’s divided by scenes and acts, and it has some existing musical numbers. I think there’s a lot of room to have lighting effects and other traditional theater elements, and have longer versions of the songs to make an enjoyable version of the story on par with the cartoon in a new medium.

Half-Life as a live-action film, in continuous first-person.

The game is deliberately cinematic to begin with. You’d cut down a brisk run-through to maybe an hour of set-pieces and combat, then build out the “dialog.” In quotations because I would make Gordon canonically mute. It’d become thematic.

Gordon took the hazard course qualifications that secretly exist to staff the extraterrestial excursion team, but they’re not quite desperate enough to risk having an astronaut who can’t use the radio, so he’s stuck on Earth pushing rocks. Without a helmet, because the excursion team keeps losing equipment, what with getting attacked by aliens. The aliens think the guys in orange suits are a distinct subspecies… which keeps kidnapping their kind.

Vortigaunts in particular would be seen maybe trying communicate with scientists in labcoats (a subspecies marked by their ridiculous ties) only to spot Gordon and freak out. They all hate the POV character on-sight. If they’re on-camera, they’re gonna start waving their hands to cast deadly lightning. They’d even try to communicate with the bug-eyed subspecies in splotchy green outfits, only to get shredded by submachinegun fire. The military wears those dehumanizing masks (and speaks over radio comms you can hear) because all they were told is “secret experiments, actual zombies, existential threat.” They saw one distended human with a jaw for his ribcage and the strength to slap a dude in half, and they didn’t ask any further questions.

This all comes together in Interloper. Gordon sees the biological factory where these creatures are enslaved to manufacture more of themselves. The ones inside know nothing about Earth. They prance up, curious and burbling incoherently, pawing all over Gordon’s bright orange carapace. He sticks a gun in their faces and they consider the object fascinating. But when he puts it away and tries communicating in sign language, they scatter, and a few start waving their hands to zap him. Gordon Freeman was chosen for this event because he is physically incapable of any outcome but one.

I’d love an animated “Cats” movie! It’d be soooo cute!!