When in doubt, or fed up, I just go hard on “no subtext”.
There is a limit to how much I allow people to demand I decode their words for things they are not willing to say out loud.
Tbh a really good lesson I learned was not to look into subtext too hard, you’ll often over analyze and come to the wrong conclusion.
Exactly. Not only does it take a lot of energy, but getting it wrong and reading subtext where there is none causes unpleasant and confusing situations. Missing subtext, at worst, causes mild frustration.
demand I decode
Maybe some people do this, but I get a malingering vibe from this perspective. I think it’s more likely that people are just about “If you get what I mean, we can connect and feel closer”. And if you don’t wanna connect with them, that’s fine!
Yeah, probably closer to my intent. To me, “demanding” isn’t a heavy and loaded word implying evil intent.
fed up. its usually fed up.
aaaa why’d i have to get stuck with the first one it’s so exhausting >.<
Furiously parses every word of your sentence, with a special minute examination of the emoji
I’m often 2 during a conversation (when my brain is too focused on trying to ignore everything else going on and listen), and then 1 for the rest of eternity after that, when it’s generally too late to do anything about it, but my brain is happy to repeat the conversation forever more… 🤦♀️
I’m 1 before a conversation to build a scrip, 2 during a conversation, then back to 1 after the conversation to figure out why the scrip didn’t work to make a better script next time.
Takes so much energy to live like this. I recently learnt I was autistic though, so working on reducing the desire for the scrip
- me when I’m awake
- me when I’m tired
I feel like it’s more that we all just bounce back and forth between the two
Same. I think the hard part is finding which one fits the situation and that’s where the spectrum kicks in.
I run into the first kind all the time. I’d say a good 80% of arguments I find myself in online have to do with someone focusing on a single word out of an entire paragraph and ignoring all the context and subtext surrounding that single word and the only way to get them to see the actual point is to give a lecture on English.
The first one is me when I’m anxious, the 2nd one is me when im fed up or tired.
When Im tired+anxious either one of two things could happen:
- I just stop registering anything and do whatever the fuck I want.
- I panic and start throwing people because i can’t register the details I think are very important, and that is making me terrified of social repercussions because I am probably about to do something that is socially unacceptable, and even though its perfectly innocent in my head I will be ostracized and or assaulted for it.
The best is when I’m neither anxious nor tired, I just pick up what I pick up and what I don’t… well people will just have to be more fucking clear about it don’t they?
90% of my social anxieties are somehow related to this, as are 90% of my violent outbursts. Why can’t people just fucking tell me what they want from me? Why am I not allowed to throw people?
Why am I not allowed to throw people?
I wish you luck finding this answer.
The first one is me when I’m anxious, the 2nd one is me when im fed up or tired.
I’m exactly the same. If I’m anxious, such as in new social settings, I will completely overanalyze everything and run it by trusted friends to see what I am missing. If I’m fed up with their bs, then I couldn’t care less, hold strict boundaries, and only focus on face value, despite the consequences. I’m not going to put forth all this energy to making things work with certain people when I don’t find the value in it or feel like they’re not putting forth the same effort.
The best is when I’m neither anxious nor tired, I just pick up what I pick up and what I don’t… well people will just have to be more fucking clear about it don’t they?
Yep. I’ve been slowly taking this approach with the idea that I will naturally end up in a group where I belong as I am. If people get upset or I don’t feel comfortable in one social setting, then I just wont engage. I’ll eventually find a place where I feel comfortable.
I’m unfortunate enough to be in both camps, depending on the situation… and find myself in the wrong one every single time.
I didn’t even know that the 1st kind existed, until now.
I’m gaining on 60yo.
Damn.
I have the beliefs of person #1, and the abilities of person #2.
Most of the time I‘m number 2. I am blissfully unaware of anything.
I’m both, in my job I’m mainly no. 2, while in my private life I’m a pain in the ass with mainly no. 1.
The only subtext is sexual euphemisms. 🍆💦
And then you’re one of the ace-spec Autistics so you’re walking around in a massive conspiracy that all everyone wants is sex and society is nothing but sex and you’re the last bastion of humanity that can actually think without using their genitals /hj
Why’d you end that with a handjob?
And then there am I where the two modi work in hourly shifts.
I am slowly transitioning from the first one to the second. Life is too short for the first and I have decided it is the responsibility of the person expressing his/her thoughts to try to be as clear as possible rather than leaving subtle clues here and there. fuck that shit
