Oh wait that’s an ADHD symptom? I’m considering going nomadic atm maybe that makes it bearable.

I’m a woman in her forties and maybe my perspective helps. What I’ve noticed about myself as I am approaching menopause is this: I won’t tolerate stuff that I don’t want. No compromise anymore. My body just won’t allow that I be in a place I don’t want to be in, with people I don’t want to be with, in conditions I don’t control … so I’m probably not a very nice person anymore in the way I used to be - but at same time feeling powerfully aligned with what I really want for myself, and walking out of situations that don’t serve me.

As women are still raised to please and support others many of us tend to wear ourselves out in caring for other people and their opinion, and when that falls away with menopause the results can be very painful for the person themselves and their families. This change in me killed my relationship, and I do feel very sorry how it all went down, but I was literally physically unable to stay and remain in this ‘wife’ situation that I tend to almost automatically create for myself when with a partner.

And for your situation as a partner: No, you never have to put up with your partner criticizing you all day and dumping their rotten mood onto you. That’s not acceptable for any reason.

Why should the homeless have no right to organize? It’s funny that the only places with (rough but efficient) functioning self-organization I could find so far were among the homeless and the small folk. Those with stuff left to protect are too much up their own arse to want to play well with others.

Also, the plans to get off the street are real, most of the time. Every kindness you show is a seed that one day will point towards the right direction.

I’ve been hanging out with the homeless as a kid, and lived on the streets for a few months as a young adult, travelling and panhandling. I met many very kind, and often very damaged people. They are on the streets because it’s for a variety of reasons the only option they can manage, not because they enjoy scamming you out of a few coins and do nothing all day.

If you are concerned about your money look at the suit wearing people, most of it ends up with them.

Improve your local community in other ways. Or give in other ways. Not sure what would apply in your local community - I live in rural Western Europe and that’s very different from what you describe. People here set up donation boxes, swap shops, create food banks, organize markets, create safe spaces for minority groups, community gardens … mostly volunteering time. Not sure you are in the position to do this? Sorry things are so heartbreaking. I hope we all figure this out soon.

How did you like Georgia? I keep beong obsessed by it (because music).

How did you address your trauma? What methods did you find worked?

Thispunk.

trying to catch trains, trying to find the correct room at university …

I like them, and the place where they are. Glad you’ve got them taking care of you!

as they sometimes deal or work with fairies, but it led to getting a few confused responses and someone reporting me to Help Resources thinking I was going suicidal, and I wasn’t

This is so funny (and sad). I avoid discussing spirits with people who put a very strict framework (especially all taken from another culture) onto their inside world and try to convince others it’s the best or only way. There are millions of worlds of reference out there, and I couldn’t give a flying fuck whether the spirits take the forms of historical pantheons or TV series characters - because there is literally (sic) no difference. They are all stories, and whatever works for you works for you.

I have finally visited my favourite rock yesterday, to say thanks for all the good things it has brought to my life. I am due to walk a lot of kilometers between rocks and trees to keep the good spirits flowing. Things work for me, because I permitted myself to listen to the landscape around my house during a time in my life when I felt really weak and tired, without letting myself fall into the paranoia of ‘schizophrenia’ or ‘psychosis’. I got really good advice, where other people’s advice would have been too confusing.

Yesterday I spoke to a person who would be considered mad and useless by most. He is a street clown. When in fact he has a centrally important function of reminding people of the irrational and shaking them out of their sad rails. He keeps the chaos alive in people’s hearts and is an essential worker. Real power can be very quiet. Real power with the goal of kindness is the best of all.

I’m glad you decided to open up about your experiences. You are very welcome to come to https://slrpnk.net/c/animism and post about your experiences there.

I admit that your world of reference is strange to me - but I have learned that the terms and names people use are often very different and that we mustn’t get hung up about it. I grew up in a big city where I couldn’t really connect with nature, but I felt the lack of trees so much that I ran away with 17 to live in a greener place. Started to connect with plants. And much later I started to befriend a group of rocks. I can’t say that it comes natural to me as to you.

I feel that a lot of people are coming to this knowledge again. For me it’s about developing a better relationship with the landscape we’re living in. There’s a lot of conscious and knowledgeable entities out there ready to help out people who are lost and lonely (and some mischievous ones we want to stay away from).

So far my problem is when I dive deep into the non-human it’s very hard to connect with humans. And vice-versa it’s really difficult to be aware of the otherworld while I do human things. For example I’ve been busy and didn’t visit my rock friends for weeks. Hope they don’t mind as they run rock-time anyways.

Never mind those who have been brought up to be deeply scared of these experiences and dismiss them as pathological. For me, I’m done with so-called experts capping my power under the guise of wanting to improve my mental health. My mental health is fine, but the destruction of woodlands and watersheds is something we all should be deeply concerned about, and getting support from our good spirits is very much needed.

No need to read the full article. Clipped ear shows it got neutered, so now it has more time to focus on business things.

That must be the most encouraging thing I’ve read in a while. Sounds like a fairly good future.

I got into and forced my way through a degree in EE just to prove I could as a foreign student working mother. Dropped out after half the time in part due to burnout, in part due to loss of motivation.

Learned a million different things (literally from basket weaving to drone racing) all stored away or suffering from lack of time after figuring out how to do them well. These days I’m between pretty decent and almost hopeless at everything. Want a mediocre wooden bed? A fairly good bathroom with mosaic art? A vegetable garden? A small computer program?

I sometimes wonder what this ADHD thing is good for, for sure it must have some purpose? It’s like I’m waiting for the big conclusion of something that connects all the things I have been picking up throughout the years.

I also got into this - from zero social to community organizer. The first two weeks getting back into ‘peopling’ I felt like some kind of creature who had just emerged from a cave: hideous, making weird noises and gestures, can’t cope with the light. A month in and it all comes more natural again. I think the hosting also does the trick. I hate being part of the public (unless maybe a classical concert where people are quiet) at any event, but give me some job and I’ll enjoy the shit out of it!

1. me when I’m awake
2. me when I’m tired

This reminds me very much of Riddley Walker, have you read it?

Is physics true now? Is truth something with exactly defined borders?

No, I prefer to draw or knit and just let my thoughts run free. Which might or might not be the same.

Ever since I’ve accepted that dystopia is already here, and there’s nothing to avoid it, but we can do everything in our power to create something better. I’m not as afraid, I’m not feeling as powerless as I used to. I’ve learned to seek good council, that helps. Got over wanting to feel or appear important and now rather want to do important work.

How? Got divorced from someone who could not handle their anxiety well, also my child grew up to spend more time with their friends, and so all I was used to disappeared. I had time and opportunity (or was forced) to re-evaluate my life choices - because the unhealthy imbalance in my former relationship mirrored the unsettling imbalance of the world in crisis in some eerie way. It was as if I was shown the workings of abuse and then forced to apply my learning onto the world and my position in it. I went through months of doubt and confusion. With support of my wonderful bf who I met on the way I managed to come out a better and more happy person on the other side, it was a very wild ride.

This or similar seems to have happened to a lot of people recently.

I somehow can manage phone calls as long as I have paper and pen to doodle. It might start being a set of short notes about the phone call, and is for noting down what people say, but around the notes I also draw wild doodles during the call, and as long as I can do that I have no problems with listening, understanding, and pushing the anxiety out onto the paper where it doesn’t disturb my call. I never realized it was as simple as having pen and paper handy and had so much trouble avoiding calls.

Advantage: nice drawings are produced. Sometimes I like them so much I copy them onto nicer paper and turn them into a proper colored pencil drawing.