Remember boys and girls, we born different, we build different. We have a lot in common, but than there are your relatives, friends, teachers, city where you were born etc. You can compare two things only if you have all other variables are equal, which is impossible. Doing your best is different everyday as well as every month and every year. Achievements of others shouldn’t bother you, only your life goals should.
I was gonna say something like this but you already said it, so imma add to yours
Everyone is talented in some way-- you might not be able to sing, or do acrobatics, or drive a racecar, but you can do other things. Everybody can do something, yes your somethings might be different but that’s normal and perfectly fine. Things like talent and beauty are purely subjective, and even if you think you have neither of them that’s just your opinion.
I do agree with this as well, but wanted to add a little something that might give a different perspective. Let’s say you are extremely gifted at being a computer engineer and you don’t know it. Nowadays probably you start fiddling with computers and eventually find out. Let’s say that you are gifted for this, but instead being born nowadays, you were born in the 1800. There is no way to know you were a gifted computer engineer back then because, well, computers didn’t really exist. The inverse also applies as well. If you are extremely good at lightning up street lamps, nowadays that skill is not relevant, since no one needs to light up street lamps manually anymore.
I do think these skills have usually some sort of equivalent (even tangentially) and you find out what you can be good at. Is it your optimal skill? I do not think we can effectively know, since everything is not available from both present, past and future, all at once to be exposed to.
Before digital computers existed, humans were the computers! (first referenced as an occupation in 1613)
Skills are transferable, though there definitely are many cases where people aren’t able to access the tools and education they might need to make the most of their talents because of lack of privilege and systemic oppression (which basically means facing more obstacles to gain access to the same tools and education as the most privileged get handed to them).
So when you were born definitely matters, but so does where, to who, what gender you were assigned at birth, how abled or disabled you are, and so on and so on…
That does make sense, but I don’t quite agree. To continue with your gifted-computer-engineer-from-the-1800s example, they aren’t just good at computers-- they have the underlying skills (problem solving, attention to detail, able to apply abstract concepts to concrete objects, taking account of the whole system, good at maths, etc) and if they were born now, they also have an interest in computers. But if they were in the 1800s they would still have all those things (except for the interest in computers) and they’d be able to apply them to be good at other things
Those computer engineers born in the 1800 would find an interest into something similar that wasn’t computers.
Like data manipulation, or drawing technical plans for steam engines.
Yeah, I can shitpost real good…
Built different (incorrectly)
thx, I am stupid (:
Nobody is build incorrectly
(yes I know it was about a typo, but this comment on its own looks to hostile)
Don’t compare someone’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes.
I once convinced someone that they are actually doing a great job by sharing my struggles and showing that they are not an impostor. They now outshine me and will go to even greater heights.
And while that one episode of dealing with burnout and impostor syndrome is a drop in the ocean of their persistence, it’s a great illustration to how misleading comparison to others is.
PS: Also, if you have ADHD, you’re nearsighted in time. That doesn’t only mean “you can’t plan well”, it means “your life looks like a hazy blob, where others see a complex scenery”. And that can be devastating when doing a comparison. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.
It should also be mentioned that “talent” doesn’t exist. Anyone that is good at something has put a ton of time and effort into practice. You’re not born with skills, you refine them. Doesn’t matter if you’re an insanely skilled artist of some kind or if you’re a darkness-dwelling, aurora-ignoring retro game speed runner, if you’re good at something its because you earned that skill through countless hours of practice.
Talent definitely exists.
nuh-UH. Nope.
Talent ≠ practice ; talent + practice = greatness
Thankfully it’s usually quite easy to dispel this myth by saying “then why are you bad at maths”. We all had the same number of hours in maths class as kids, but some had to practice WAY MORE to achieve a passable grade.
Most people can’t be Mozart. Some dedicate their lives to music, and do not get a fraction of the way there.
“Talent doesn’t exist” is a lie we tell ourselves as a society because our individualist culture sells us a pipe dream of personal greatness that many/most people literally aren’t equipped to achieve no matter how hard they try (and we should try regardless).
You think we all had the same amount of hours in math class as a kid but you conveniently ignore variables like focus, interest and after hours practice, among others I can’t think of I’m sure.
If you took guitar class with me back in high school and only practiced during class and for assigned homework, I’m absolutely smoking you right out of the gate because I’m also spending 3hrs minimum every night practicing for fun. Double that on most weekends.
Its all about the time you put into the skill. If you are engaged with practicing a particular skill because you genuinely enjoy it, you’re going to have a much easier time than someone who struggles to enjoy it. Math class is the perfect example. Many kids loathe math class while others love it. The kids that love it are gonna engage with it with more focus both in-class and at home. That practice and study directly translates to proficiency.
Nah, I hate maths and never studied at home. Still did way better than kids with difficulties that were studying way more.
Not studying didn’t pay off in higher education (focus issues, possibly undiagnosed ADHD or related), because talent ALONE is not enough anymore, but before then I had an objectively easier time than most and that was with little time or interest devoted to it.We ALL use the concept of “left” and “right” daily. I’ve been doing that instinctively without a problem since I was, like, 8. Some adults still need to use a mnemonic every single time. Is that because they don’t have enough interest or didn’t spend as much time on it as 8 yo me did? Of course not.
I have put hundreds of hours into one of my hobbies, digital photography. I really like it. I have watched and read plenty of theory and know most of what there is to know about what makes a good picture. My photographs are only halfway decent and nowhere near what they should be given my time investment. And that’s OK, because I know it’s not because of anything I did and I like the hobby anyway.
Your argument does not have a leg to stand on. Someone with music agnosia cannot learn to play the guitar like you do. Dyslexics cannot “just study like I did” their way into being good at mental arithmetic. Pretending that skill is ONLY a function of time and drive is extremely pretentious and factually incorrect. It’s the “you’re depressed? Just do like me, think happy thoughts” of education.
I never mentioned anything about disadvantages because it should be self evident that if you are at a disadvantage for X reason you’re gonna have a bad time.
I myself have essential tremor. My muscles shake significantly when they are engaged. Trust me I know what its like to dig out of a hole when almost everyone else is standing on level ground to begin with.
Talent implies that people are born already being multiple chapters ahead of their peers in their skill refinement story. That’s just simply not true and believing that does nothing but perpetuate “woe is me” attitudes.
Practice is what digs you out of the hole. Someone could have all the supposed talent in the world but if they don’t practice and learn they won’t be able to keep up. Practice is all that matters.
I bet your photography is a lot better than you give yourself credit for. Everyone is their own harshest critic. You might be sitting on photos that some people would think are gold. I hope you’re sharing them even if you think they’re not so hot.
Talent might be practice because you used the same part of your brain on other aspects of life.
For example, if you gamed early in life, this “practice” may contribute to you being good with your brain, which makes you “talented” in math.
Playing with dolls in early life may lead to being more creative, and this being more talented in drawing.
The practicing begins the moment you start interacting with the world.
Or something along those lines.
Now you’re just reaching at straws to comfort your worldview. I could explain to you that I never was a huge gamer (and only started spending significant time gaming around 12 y/o), and that I am hugely uncreative (in the traditional sense at least) despite having played with dolls as a child. But I get the feeling that you’ll just come up with more explanations why I somehow unconsciously “trained” the things I’m naturally good at.
Anything to avoid facing the fact that brains, like bodies, aren’t all created equal and identical. To pretend they are is completely ridiculous. Yet we do so because admitting that not everyone is born with equal potential breaks through the veil of The Meritocracy™, Karma™ and all the other little lies we tell ourselves to avoid facing the fact that the world is fundamentally unjust.
yes thisss i wanted to say this. if theres something u really really wanna do but dont have a talent for it, learn it, practice, get better and u can do it. applies to virtually anything
As an enby, I’m going to choose petty spite and forget that we’re born different
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At the age of 8 he enrolled at The University of South Alabama, where he received in 1994 a bachelor’s degree in anthropology and is listed in the Guinness Book as the world’s youngest university graduate at the age of ten. At the age of 14 he obtained a master’s degree in chemistry at Middle Tennessee State University. At age 18 he obtained his master’s degree in computer science at Vanderbilt University.
I often use that as a source of encouragement rather than defeat. My two favorite sports are snowboarding and muay thai which are filled with people who’ve been practicing before they formed memories. If a child is better than me then I’m almost certainly capable of becoming that good with continued practice. Even if it takes years it’s something to aspire to regardless of the relative age difference. I was one of those kids who was way better than a lot of people on a dirt bike. I was put on a dirt bike at the age of 4 and don’t even remember learning, so it’s not like it’s a fair comparison. Just run your own race and aspire to be like those around you.
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Don’t worry, someday you’ll be like me; you’ll be finding out someone taneted is much younger than you.
The really fun part is that the first few times this happens to you, you’re the same age and feel insecure that someone your age achieved more, but as you age in to your mediocrity you gradually get to see people who are younger and younger than you achieve more than you ever did, and now, likely ever will. But hey, there’s always the memes to take your mind off it… oh wait.
…as you age into your mediocrity…
I feel attacked.
This doesn’t bother me. They’re usually the type who put the work in to get where they are so they deserve it.
If it was a talentless incompetent hack who cheated their way through life and reaping the benefits they don’t deserve, now that bothers me.
That’s my secret: I’m always depressed.
20+ years and going strong over here. I wish my shrink would hurry up and get certified for ketamine assisted therapy.
If that doesn’t work, psilocybe cubensis isn’t hard to grow and it might even be legal where you live.
Eh, my last shroom trip is the reason I no longer do psychedelics. Although through the ego death I did have the epiphany that life doesn’t matter, but it really doesn’t need to.
But, for a decent amount of the trip I felt like invisible hands were trying to drag my brain into insanity.
Too bad legal LSD isn’t a thing, because that was way more chill than shrooms.
Anyways, my depression is persistent depressive disorder, so I don’t have any super lows. My depression sits at a 4-5 scale and doesn’t move. I just go through life basically not feeling feelings.
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Then let the thought comfort you that talentless sacks of shit are running NPC streams on tiktok and making more money than you.
Life is a marathon not a sprint. We don’t all have the same problems and we don’t all have the same tools at same time to deal with them and that’s ok. The value of you is so much more than just the accolades you receive or the money you earn. The meaning to your life is whatever you decide that meaning is not whatever is forced upon you. Remember to be kind to yourself. All anyone can do is try and be a lil better than the day before.
Haha suckers doing more shit while i’m just chillin is this supposed to make me jealous lol ?
I remember when Billie Eilish got big with her album at age 17 and I felt so crappy still making bat shit music at 18
Our environment has a lot to do with it too, like what we’re born into. Billie Eilish’s parents were both actors with a very limited amount of success. She’s not a nepo-baby by any definition of the word but she had parents who supported her passion and a have few connections. I don’t know what your situation growing up was like but I can take a guess and say that your parents said to you what my parents said to me when I said I wanted to be a rockstar. “You can certainly try, but most people who do don’t get very far.” They were right of course. You can cut yourself a little slack, life is hard.
Thanks for your kind words, but I have grown in the last few years ;) Today I would never ever want to get famous fast. I think it’s very tough to find any meaning and contentment for people that got famous “over night”
It also hurts when they’re younger, and have been doing it for less time than you. I’m a purple belt in BJJ, and have trained with people competing at a high-level that were basically small children when I started, and have done it for half the time I’ve been in the sport.
Pair that with working with several accomplished engineers at work that outlevel me, despite me graduating before they even went to university, and sometimes it’s easy to feel a bit shit.
Did you start bjj as an adult? Because if so, that’s why kids are passing you.
I will never understand comparing one’s self to others. You’re like comparing Xbox to PlayStation. I remember my mother comparing my siblings and I to our cousins who were hustling at a young age (looking back now as an adult, it wasn’t a good thing considering their circumstances at the time). I retorted by saying they’re different people, why should I care? Then thankfully my dad backed me up from my mom’s nonsense!
Opposite for me. Parents always put me down and compared me to others. When I told my mum I wanted to be a plumber because they make a lot of money, she made me clean the toilets in the house for 2 years.
But that desire to gain your parents’ approval is strong. I was a dumb kid with bad grades, and while I got into university, it wasn’t a top tier one. Worked my butt off everyday, in part because I never got that praisal. Slow and steady, but I finally made it to a good job.
(Granted, plumbers still make a lot and my parents were kind of dicks for not realizing that, but my ambitions grew greater than that dream)
Try to find out where or what you really shine at, and keep going through that way!
and meanwhile stop comparing yourself to others
What do you do when you don’t shine at anything?
I’m guessing practice things until you do
To shine at something you have to put effort into it. Usually it’s the lack of willpower that makes us average. Look at exceptional people, they succeed in very different areas.
Huh, you know what, I don’t think I feel like this anymore. I used to, but now it doesn’t bother me. Thank you for making me realize I have grown.
Think of it like this way.
Whatever you think you are good at, some asian preteen is better at it.
So do stuff because you yourself want to do it, not to be better at it than other people.
