“You’re not being bullied, it’s the way your brain perceives it. Not everyone is bullying you.” That’s what my family used to say to me all the time whenever I told them I was being bullied. And it was true that they bullied me. The teachers yelled at me and found every possible way to punish me, the kids called me names, avoided me, and called me a disgusting creep, spread rumors about me, and very few students liked me.
I’d say, though not everyone bullied me, a great deal of them did and it wasn’t just how my brain perceived it. That’s bullying to anyone, autistic or not.
I think people need to figure out the warning shot. Like you have to find an assertive non-hostile way to tell someone to stop their behaviour. If they continue to do it, then the “it’s not bullying” card becomes pretty flimsy.