I have always struggled with meditation. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to successfully meditate and the advice that people give me does not work.
I have ADHD (Inattentive), autism and OCD/CPTSD and I can’t stop the constant stream of thoughts, it’s like my brain has a problem with authority and is like “oh, you don’t want me to think? I’m just gonna think even harder” so folks advice of “just quiet your mind!” does not work at all.
The other advice I was given was “just let your mind wander” and that’s not an option either. If I let my mind wander, it pivots fast to dark, traumatic, intrusive thoughts and/or replaying every cringe and embarrassing moment of my life, so up to this point, all of my attempts to meditate have never worked out.
If there’s anyone with similar issues to mine that has been able to meditate with success, I’d very much appreciate some advice to help me along.
Problem is, I notice my thoughts a bit too much. 😅
I don’t really understand the not knowing that I’m thinking because I’m aware that I’m thinking and it kind of just feeds into itself.
It’s not a problem - that’s literally the practice. You focus on something like your breath, and every time you catch yourself getting lost in thought, you just gently go back to the breath.
The overwhelming majority of people couldn’t stop their thoughts for even 10 seconds if their life depended on it. And they don’t have to. Just notice the thoughts and start again.
You can even meditate on the thought itself - it doesn’t have to be the breath.