I waited two years for an ADHD test and they turned me away in the waiting room because I wasn’t sitting there stimming. Didn’t ask why my fingers are completely covered in calluses though, did they?
Why stop this crazy science experiment now.
I’d like to report this post for doxxing
Don’t forget trauma, can’t tell what the hell is going on with me because the symptoms for the 3 overlap a lot. All 3 fit while all 3 don’t fit.
There’s also a certain amount of grief and indignation that goes along with a late diagnosis. Suddenly, you as an adult have tools and/or medication to manage your life, in ways you never did before. When you get your diagnosis and start receiving help, things suddenly get easier.
And the grief happens when you look back at your entire life before then, and realize how much easier it would have been if you had been given those tools from the start. School probably would have been much easier, your life would probably be way more on track, relationships might not have ended the way they did, jobs wouldn’t have been such a constant struggle, etc…
Why didn’t a single teacher ever tell your parents to get you checked? Surely they had noticed the signs, right? Or if they did and your parents brushed it off, why the hell did they feel like they knew better? Were they afraid to admit that something was wrong? Were they boomers with the “if I ignore this medical problem, it’s not a problem” mentality? Why the hell wouldn’t they want you to be prepared for life? They forced you to put in all this extra effort this whole time, for absolutely no reason? You could have been living instead of struggling to finish your homework until 11 at night.
All of the small daily “why the fuck is this so difficult” traumas you have built up throughout the course of your life suddenly coalesce, when you realize that they could have been completely avoided, or that you could have had the tools to help manage the things that were giving you trouble.
I think I moved past drinking with my demons at this point in life, but I get it. Can’t help but wonder the what ifs.
This is something ive been struggling with. I cant tell if its cptsd or my adhd which i have diagnosed or if i have autism. Or any combination thereof. I really dont feel comfortable with large crowds and like having things particular but then i also cant keep things clean and my brain goes a million miles an hour.
That makes three of us now. Someone linked me to the RAADS-R yesterday, where I scored highly. Now I get to wonder all the same things.
Ultimately, does a particular diagnosis or set of diagnoses matter? I’m trying to figure that out too.
Ultimately, does a particular diagnosis or set of diagnoses matter?
Some are fixable, some are manageable, some “it is what is it”. I think if I can get a good grip on what’s going on, I could do a better job sorting it out. I have made some improvement with an assume all of the above approach as CBT is a overlapping treatment for all, but I would at least like to know I’m going in the right direction. Any online testing I tried shows trauma for sure, but the others may or may not be an issue, but that overlap makes it hard to figure out.
We’re definitely peas in a pod. I don’t really care what my diagnosis is, I just want to get more information about my inherent and learned behaviors, plus any preconceptions based on those, so I can be a better person for myself and others.
I mean, what would an autism diagnosis provide?
At least with ADHD you get really helpful meds
Nothing beyond clarity. I always thought I was working around my own character flaws but after I realised I’m autistic it reframes it as me working around autism.
It didn’t provide help but it did provide answers. I now sometimes say to clients that I have autism and I might ramble on too much about details and people seem to like it.
I got some preliminary testing done by a clinical psychologist for both ADHD and autism, and it indicated I have both. For a diagnosis to ‘count’ medically, you have to have a doctor make it though, so I went to a psychiatrist.
Both the psychologist and psychiatrist basically advised that I should only seek a medical diagnosis for neurodivergence if I was going to seel treatment or other disability accomodations with it. Otherwise, there’s no real benefit and a huge chance of discrimination by other doctors. A friend, who’s from another country, said her psych gave the exact same advice.
So I only got a medical diagnosis for ADHD and remain content with the psychologist’s autism ‘diagnosis’.
I mean, what would an autism diagnosis provide?
Some peace of mind for some, I guess. Giving a name to the issue may help a little living with it
Are labels like that actually helpful?
I’m genuinely asking. I feel like they’re not, that with or without it you have to forge an understanding with others
Getting my ADHD diagnosis was very validating for me. It validated the struggles and experiences I have, and allows me to be kinder to myself
My self-talk has changed in tone since I got a diagnosis. It’s still not very gentle but it’s also not outright abusive anymore. It’s the difference between “you fucking lazy fuck, everybody else can do this, what is wrong with you?!” and “oh right, THAT’S wrong with you. right, okay, fine, find a different way. again. *eyeroll* sheesh…” That’s huge.
In my case yes absolutely, being able to identify it and get help with it did definitely help
As a parent, helping children to name their emotions when they feel something is the very foundation of getting them to recognise what’s happening and developing strategies to cope with the strong feelings.
I’ve been told by parents of kids with autism, and by friends who’s received formal diagnosis that it is a very similar mechanism. The ‘label’ helps with recognising patterns of behaviour, and helps them to develop coping mechanisms.
Not the labels per se but being able to identify patterns and processes can be a comfort and even helpful if you have the right guidance and support system.
For example, identifying habitual masking (even when unnecessary) and making the decision not to mask can be helpful when socialising by conserving energy and making them more meaningful without the doubt and shame of “faking it”. Also giving yourself credit for feeling emotions and stimuli intensely and deciding for yourself to move away from to self-regulate.
The “label” should be foremost for you, hence why some don’t feel comfortable getting an official diagnosis (especially in the U.S.)
For some they are, for some they’re not, I guess. Personally I do think it helps me understand myself better , but then again I was diagnosed as a kid for ADHD, but have been off meds for 20 year (I forgot to take them and eventually stopped altogether)
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Some amount of support from the government and public institutions (at least where I’m from).
Well, must be nice to live in a civilized country…
Well there’s lots of red tape and the bureaucracy is a nightmare but it exists.
This hits hard as my son has just been diagnosed with ASD and when old enough is very likely to be diagnosed with ADHD. We’re very happy to help support him thro this and feel it benefits him knowing.
However, my wife is convinced I portray symptoms and while I feel a little lost in life I really don’t want to take the attention away from my son. I’m also 50 so feel like it may be better to just accept I’m from a time that didn’t address it and bottle it up with the rest of my traumas
Spent over 30 years thinking I wasn’t autistic, never even suspecting as much. If not for my gf who actually knew the symptoms and convinced me to seek diagnosis, I would still think I’m a “different normie”
I was almost certain I had adhd, and would sometimes think “what if I am autistic or straight up mentally challenged and everyone knows but hasn’t told me?” Cuz I was tsken to a shrink as a kid, but I don’t know what the outcome of that was or even why my parents took me to begin with. I just remember being super uncomfortable and the smell of the office.
So I setup a doctor’s appointment in my mid 30s and was told I have both, plus BPD which I didn’t know about then so I’ve spent a lot of time looking into what it actually is and that one explains almost evey single problem I have that made me seek help for. The ADHD and Autism seem to balance themselves out; the BPD puts way too much stress on relationships with other human beings.
funny comment for me to find, this literally just happened to me. had the terrible realization recently that i’v…kind of been the setup/butt to jokes my whole life, from people taking advantage of my “naivity” i guess. which is weird because… I had always sort of looked down on autistic people myself. they just seemed so…predictable (apparently I am high-fucntioning autistic, or whatever it’s called).
realizing that I myself have basically been forest gump to all these motherfuckers…very jarring realization. Had been living till now with the assumption of ignorance before malice, that most people are just…dumb, not evil. now i realize the evil people might be way more common than i thought, really fucking with my head…
find myself reexaming all my lifes interactions, how many people this whole time that i thought were being nice werent. how can i mask effectively anymore if i can’t trust my own memories let alone my ability to read other people?
wait, i think this whole experience just finally tought/reinforced… full empathy for me? jesus. this feeling fucking sucks, i feel so much pain and misery for humankind as a whole, i don’t like it
You just scheduled a doctor’s appointment and got diagnosed with autism in your 30s? How did that work? Every experience I’ve heard of (inside and out of the US) has been quite involved
It was more than just a single appointment for the whole process but the first one gave enough indicators to have them send me to see a specialist.
Ah that makes sense. I got the “indicators” but don’t have the time money or desire for a full blown diagnosis so I left it at that. Glad you were able to get it done though! Some people get screwed.
Took like 6 months in Europe. I would never had been diagnosed if the closed med was also a adhd specialist…
ADHD for me.
I am diagnosed with ADHD but also have basically every Autism symptom to some extent. But I don’t know if pursuing an Autism diagnosis is even worth it, like it’s not treatable anyway, is it?
Have ASD level 1, can confirm there’s no treatment sadly.
Imho it’s not something that would even be classified as “treatable,” in the same way that being LGBTQIA isn’t something that the word applies to.
However, much like being LGBTQIA, the knowledge of one’s own identity as being autistic provides essential context to understanding the weird experience of interacting with a world that is built for people who are not.
Maybe both?
Haha, it was both
Don’t tell them you smoke weed or you’re going to have a bad time.
Why is that? Weed can cause similar symptoms?
I like your thought process. It’s federally illegal and they won’t treat you unless you go to rehab. It depends on where you go, though. It’s one those “N.O. = New-Opportunities”, situations.
Whoa, did that happen to you? I may just be lucky with the state I live in or the practitioner I got but I had 0 issues getting adhd or ssri drugs prescribed while being perfectly open about all that.
Yeah, California. It depends on the provider. I had to completely switch and go with someone else. California is weird about company policies and federal law. I even tried calling back to see if it was a fluke, and they straight up said, “You been to rehab for Marijuana, yet?”. Super frustrating. That’s not verbatim, but that’s the gist of it. I will say, it’s been a while. I haven’t checked back with that specific office in half a decade. I’m pretty sure they closed for obvious reasons. Arch medical Healthcare.
Edit: yeah it was Arch. They fucking suck.
