I have both ADHD and Autism for context.
Anyway I recently started noticing that I tend to have dual organizational systems in my apartment. Some things and storage spaces are totally organized to the 10th degree. Other things and storage spaces are totally chaotic and some of my belongings just end up wherever I drop them. It is kind if weird because there is a very clear differences in something like my closet. My main bag and dresser is super organized but but my desk and under my bed is often just a dumping zone. I end up having to clean up a bunch of junk and trash every 2 weeks or so.
I have also noticed that I sometimes will get really impulsive and move things around. Of course this triggers my desire to keep everything the same so I end up moving everything back. It’s like my ADHD jumps in and then the Autism takes back over.
Same thing with me going to social outings. I will suddenly get a desire to go into a bar or group activity but when I get there I get overwhelmed in 5 minutes or less and I end up mostly keeping to myself in the corner. I want to go get wild and have fun but then I get overwhelmed by where I should look. I don’t want to accidentally stare at someone to long so I just look at the floor.
What’s wild that I just realized this more recently
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I don’t have ADHD, but I’m autistic.
I too have two organization systems. But I realized that what seems chaotic, has actually a precise order. My closet is organized in a specific way, but my work desk looks like a mess, however, change something of my chaotic desk and I will notice. And will take me some sweet time to recover from it.
With social events I was like that too, but given some time, I learned that it’s not worth it. When I feel like going to a party, I remember the noise, the lights, the people, and remember how stressful they are. I don’t like parties anymore, and don’t get that urge anymore, but I still have days in which I want to be “social”. That is for me the hardest urge to “solve”, as I struggle with other humans same way you are.
When I feel like going to a party, I remember the noise, the lights, the people, and remember how stressful they are.
That happened too many times before I knew I was autistic. Now… it only happens when I can’t avoid the social event, but a pair of earplugs works wonders for the noise (not for the rest of the stimuli and the presence of people, tho, but makes it more manageable).
Yeah I still go to parties and social events because…
Actually I don’t really know. Some things are work related but everything else is crazy.
What’s funny is that in very rare occasions I have gotten seemingly drunk without touching the bottle. Everyone around me gets super drunk and I guess I just get super excited or something. One time I went to a dance party and I ended up dancing and singing till 3am. I don’t have much memory from that as if I was drunk. I am told that I came out of no where and became the life of the party. One of my special interests is Jazz so maybe I just got a self induced hit. I assume this is a ADHD trait but who knows.
Loud and clear. My collections are meticulously organized. My desk is a disaster area. My bedroom is dusty but clutter-free. The dining room looks like a hoarder house exploded.
The upshot to having severe depression on top of AuDHD is that none of it feels like it matters much anymore. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
Same hare (just autism here). My bedroom total mess and sometimes looks like a twister went trough it, but if i fill my dishwasher, hang up clothes or cook everyghing need to be perfect ans just so.
It is also entirely possible that you may also be ADHD. I don’t really know you but I do know a lot of people who are diagnosed with just ADHD or Autism but probably could be both. There is a quite a lot of overlap between ADHD and Autism and recent studies have show they are actually very similar and could even be variations of the same thing.
Perhaps. Thank you for the info
Same same. My work office is spotless and perfectly stocked at all times, my home desk is a collection box (pile) for important papers with some room for a mouse and keyboard. Kitchen and living room? perfectly organized, to the point I could tell you exactly where every tool and ingredient is within a 6 in square… My laundry however is… Dear God… I’m working on it. Medicine cabinet is a pile of so many random drugs and medical tools but directly below is the perfectly, and I mean perfectly, folded and stacked AND organized by alternating color, towels. The weird part is, even in the “chaos” zones, I could still give you a shelf coordinate that would be accurate to within 12 inches of the item you’re looking for. Ibuprofen? First shelf down from the top, front left side, next to the NyQuil, may need to move the bag of compression wraps out the way. The beeswax for candles? Top right cube of the laundry shelving, back left corner of that cube. Like… Wtf brain? Why u know dis!!!
Sounds like some of my family. To be fair they have hording issues but for the longest time my Grandma could tell you exactly where something is in the bedroom piled with stuff.
I have ADHD and CPTSD, which among other things means I acquired autistic traits through a secret cheat code.
Yes, 100%. I have a three drawer nightstand. The drawers are meticulously organized while there’s a pile of crap “pending organization” on the top. It has only grown over the course of months. Eventually I’ll buckle down and do it but, until that fateful day, I’ll have the most organized drawers in the North American continent.
I’m totally the same. My room is mostly a wreck but I could manage everything about 3 bike shops all at the same time with precision and efficiency.
When I did auto body work, I had everything I needed on carts within arm’s reach. That is where I got my speed. Each panel might take 100 operations to complete but I worked on 3-5 cars at the same time wheeling my carts and stool around to each one as fast as I could, meanwhile, my house was always a wreck and I couldn’t find anything.
Similar. I have both. However, not all autism is the same.
As for the social stuff, your skills are underdeveloped. It’s like watching a toddler run because there are skills others developed at a much younger age. You may always struggle with it, but you can learn how to cope, and you can improve.
You can learn to watch for non verbal cues, learn when to listen vs talk. You can learn when to stop fact dumping and instead ask questions.
You aren’t alone. It can get better. I would recommend watching some YouTube videos on communication and social skills.
Be interested in other people’s journeys and skill sets. Perhaps people will think you’re different, but they will like you.
Settle on an organization that objectively makes sense for you. Don’t set unreasonable expectations for yourself.
I try to be a listener which seems to work pretty well. It is hard because of my ADHD but I try.
Slow talkers amirite!?
If they say they have a problem I will immediately try to fix it. I am a engineer by heart so I want to come up with solutions. The thing is most people don’t want solutions they just want to vent.
Yes. This. Are they looking for understanding or solutioning?
Typically venting…
Ask. It saves you both frustration.
I’m autistic but not ADHD (and can’t think of a better way of starting this off). I definitely have to reorganize them soon because I’ve been lazy recently, but all my CDs, DVD, and games are organized alphabetically. Music files on my desktop/laptop are organized in folders named by artist followed by whatever subfolder(s) I need from there, which are auto alphabetized thankfully. Phone needs some major work getting that mess taken care of, though, which I totally wanna do but probably never will get around to due to having over 500 files on a single SD card.
Games are sorted by console/case size (PS2 cases > PS3 cases type of thing) as well since I have limited space in my bedstand things. I also keep all the manga I have just organized in a dresser drawer by keeping volumes from the same sets together, but not in alphabetical order if I remember correctly.
Other than those, and roughly where the dishes go in the kitchen and dishwasher, I am not super organized past the normal certain clothes types in certain drawers thing I assume most everyone does regardless of being autistic or not. Organization is something that kinda drains me a little since usually the things I’m organizing are a lots of smaller things (dishes not included because I have that down to a science on where things should go for the most part), so I try to keep things clean enough, even if that means foregoing good organization of things.
Growing up a I knew someone who was both Autistic and OCD. Its funny since my mom knew his mom pretty well so I ended up spending some time with him in elementary school. I’m ADHD and I literally will pickup and touch everything which drove him insane. He had everything in its place (he liked collections) and I would come it and pick things up.
Its funny though because both of us were insistent on eating exactly the same thing for lunch each day. My diet was different than his but we both would get frustrated when things changed from the routine.
Not me, i have the same quality of organization for most things
We are all different
As far as I know I don’t have either (autism or adhd) but I find I can sorta be like this. Thing is I can be super organized but generally only if I have enough control of the area and time. I tend to be lazy but I am really good at packing or stacking things to maximize storage space. But like I have complete control of my laptop and its not organized but like since I can search and such I don’t need it to be. but like I have an external drive which I keep very oganized and backed up.
