90% of social interaction is basically guessing what the other person wants to hear. Being ‘good’ at socializing is more about performance than actual substance. Small talk is the perfect example, you say a lot of words to say nothing in particular.
I figure it’s a ritualistic thing that makes people feel comfortable. I do find the scripted back and forth so odd though. I always feel compelled to not give the scripted answer.
Me too. Usually changing the script slightly to exaggerate or be bombastic works for me. Ex. “How are you today?” “I’m doing just fantastic so far, how are you?” Or “ch-ch-ch-chillin,” sung to the tune of the Chia Pet jingle. Usually gets me further than “Good, you?” Social interaction is just another game I’ve had to get good at.
but im known around where I’m at for being ludicrously strong in calisthenics (i don’t think that compared to chris heria n all that, but the folks are my college rec r not that strong. and theyre mostly weight lifters… ew, so folks tell me I’m crazy) so people expect me to bring up rock climbing or calisthenics when i pull out 10 muscle ups, front lever, back lever, handstand pushups, etc. also im super close to planche but no cigar yet.
It’s a tribal custom. Try some responses that make the other person either laugh or think. Often once the ice is broken, you don’t have to talk any more.
It’s basically a super long form status check - how are you? What are your feelings towards recent weather? Have you heard of recent events? Has recent sports ball performance impacted your emotional stability?
If you ask me, it started from a “let’s see how likely this guy is to stab me if I let him in my house” kind of social ritual, you go through various topics and check if there is a strong emotional response.
there could be smth interesting to talk about that leads to another conversation. the folks in this thread prolly answer “fine” to everything then wonder why nobody wants to talk to them
Also the dance of letting the conversation shift around without any kind of shared understanding helps too, which is why conversations with neurotypicals can be so exhausting.
Honestly I’m starting to doubt that neurotypical is actually the majority of people and most people are just good at pretending to be typical.
everyone’s faking it, no one knows what they’re doing and for some reason they’ve all silently agreed to act like they like it that way.
had a boss tell me something similar ages ago… for a while i was able to pretend i was ok with this, but honestly i’m sooo fucking tired.
it’s not even a dance. it’s chickens in a coop, trying to pretend they’re hawks, but they’re all fucking headless
90% of social interaction is basically guessing what the other person wants to hear. Being ‘good’ at socializing is more about performance than actual substance. Small talk is the perfect example, you say a lot of words to say nothing in particular.
I figure it’s a ritualistic thing that makes people feel comfortable. I do find the scripted back and forth so odd though. I always feel compelled to not give the scripted answer.
Me too. Usually changing the script slightly to exaggerate or be bombastic works for me. Ex. “How are you today?” “I’m doing just fantastic so far, how are you?” Or “ch-ch-ch-chillin,” sung to the tune of the Chia Pet jingle. Usually gets me further than “Good, you?” Social interaction is just another game I’ve had to get good at.
Chchchchillin, chillin in the pool
Chchchchillin, drinking sodas looking cool
i just talk about my interests or smth
but im known around where I’m at for being ludicrously strong in calisthenics (i don’t think that compared to chris heria n all that, but the folks are my college rec r not that strong. and theyre mostly weight lifters… ew, so folks tell me I’m crazy) so people expect me to bring up rock climbing or calisthenics when i pull out 10 muscle ups, front lever, back lever, handstand pushups, etc. also im super close to planche but no cigar yet.
ugh i rambled about calisthenics again
Coming from a culture without smalltalk I’ve never understood it. Why talk if there is nothing to be said?
It’s a tribal custom. Try some responses that make the other person either laugh or think. Often once the ice is broken, you don’t have to talk any more.
I’m going to start using this one. It’s simple and effective.
I like “Well enough.” In response to how’s it going, or similar non-questions.
It’s basically a super long form status check - how are you? What are your feelings towards recent weather? Have you heard of recent events? Has recent sports ball performance impacted your emotional stability?
If you ask me, it started from a “let’s see how likely this guy is to stab me if I let him in my house” kind of social ritual, you go through various topics and check if there is a strong emotional response.
there could be smth interesting to talk about that leads to another conversation. the folks in this thread prolly answer “fine” to everything then wonder why nobody wants to talk to them
its important to have interests to talk about tho
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Also the dance of letting the conversation shift around without any kind of shared understanding helps too, which is why conversations with neurotypicals can be so exhausting.
Honestly I’m starting to doubt that neurotypical is actually the majority of people and most people are just good at pretending to be typical.
everyone’s faking it, no one knows what they’re doing and for some reason they’ve all silently agreed to act like they like it that way.
had a boss tell me something similar ages ago… for a while i was able to pretend i was ok with this, but honestly i’m sooo fucking tired.
it’s not even a dance. it’s chickens in a coop, trying to pretend they’re hawks, but they’re all fucking headless
deleted by creator