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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 5th, 2023

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  • I know they will be there for me when I need it

    Here’s the thing, relationships take work. Not just marriages or romantic ones, they all take work. Effort needs to be made by both parties, or else the relationship will die. I had a friend that affectionately called it “friend work,” where they would spend a bit of time each day putting in the effort needed to maintain a healthy friendship, because if she didn’t, then the relationship would suffer for it.

    Not wanting to engage in the world right now is very common, and downright reasonable considering the general state of things. If a relationship you have with someone is mentally stressing you, or sapping your energy, consider whether or not that relationship is valuable to you, and act accordingly. If the relationship is important to you, and you want it to continue or grow, then you have to put effort into it. If the relationship is one-sided, and feels draining, and you want it to end, then put forth zero effort into it, and it will naturally go away.







  • When I was young, myself and a group of friends were being accosted by a disheveled man on our walk home from the bar. We didn’t really understand what he was saying, but we were able to discern one phrase, as he told us to “Put the pussy on a chain wax”

    We had no idea what it meant, and thought it was hilarious, so we’d oft repeat it at random.

    Thinking about it now, I suddenly realize what he meant. He was referring to the woman in our group, telling us to pimp her out, by putting her up against a chain-link fence that were so plentiful in rough neighborhoods where we grew up.

    So now I’m telling you, so that if you ever encounter this gentleman, you’ll know what he’s talking about 😶‍👍




  • When I visited Europe, I had a great time talking with strangers there. One in particular said something similar, in that he thought Americans were just inherently more violent.

    Listen, the reality of the situation is that we’re just as friendly and kind as we ever were. Americans are literally the most charitable population. But we’re also living in times of great wealth inequality, while our health insurance is still tied to employment. Something like half a million of us go bankrupt every year from medical debt. We are also all uniquely aware that some people will randomly get lucky, and get a massive windfall of money. Money here doesn’t just mean comfort, it means security, because if ever our luck runs out, there is no social safety net waiting to catch us. People can and often do go from the highest echelons of the social ladder, to living under a bridge, dying of some easily cured disease.

    In America, it’s dog eat dog. It’s a zero-sum game. Whatever money you make, is money that I won’t. And when money = security, it means that however secure you are, is how less secure I am. 300 million of us all playing the prisoners dilemma. If we work together we could all have a good outcome, but there are so many of us that have fully bought into the me vs. everyone mentality, that it’s a near impossibility of getting all us prisoners to work together.

    But a big mistake, is looking at boomer news (fox news, newsmax, oann) and thinking it reflects reality. It doesn’t. That is 100% hateful news for hateful people. If you like getting a dopamine rush from looking down on others, or doomscrolling, or in being afraid, then faux news is what you watch. Don’t mistake it with America, because it isn’t. It is actively poisoning Americans, but if ever you were to get an active faux news watcher to turn it off, sit down, and have a chat, you’d be surprised at how friendly they were. They are people who bought into the zero sum game, but even they know how/when to be charitable.