i think it is incredibly unfair that the process of ending your own life is, in this culture, a necessarily lonely and grim affair.

according to the theory of complete bodily autonomy the option must be available, simple, painless, and ideally a joyful shared experience. but the moment you make such a desire known to others, they will try to “help” you. and i can assure you that their idea of “help” will not be pleasant for you.

so, sadly, you must tread this path alone.

philosophically, i think it offends people because it forces them to acknowledge that their own life is probably not worth preserving. we force each other to suffer through it all because no one wants to openly admit that this shit just plain-old-sucks.

that’s what i was thinkin… surely single-cell eukaryote (fungi) is earlier than complex eukaryote (shark)?

i spend a lot of time alone and so my mind wandering out unattended can be a real problem. years ago (45 now), i finally traced back to the single moments in my life that caused my demise and since then my brain LOVES to torture me repeatedly with the pain and betrayal and shame and anger of those moments.

1.5 years ago i found something that helps. i made “elevator music” for my mind.

i have always had a bit of a problem getting songs stuck in my head. so i found one that i like but not love (not a favorite song) that i have known for forever, and put the chorus and bridge on permanent replay.

the tune and lyrics are available as a reflex, last for about a minute before the loopback, it is calming and centering and allows me to manually wrest control away from thought processes that are harming me but seem to be happening automatically.

it may be that this is too specific of a solution, but it aids my sanity. good luck to you.

(the song is: “Spinning the Wheel” by George Michael)

it is really bugging me that you are getting heavily downvoted for this. it’s not like you are actively proselytizing here. i am sorry people are so shitty.

i think belief in (some type of) god is probably pretty healthy. unfortunately, my life experience has led me to a failure to believe in anything at all.

anyways… you do you. be well.