Sorry to hear about that it sounds very hard.
It definitely wasn’t as easy as it might have sounded and I was very lucky to have been given a second chance where I was able to focus on these things.
But one of the biggest lessons I have learned along the way is that those people who say give it 100% are not for me. The only way I can get anywhere is to give it 5-10% today and then just keep trying to do 5-10% everyday. Eventually that 5-10% becomes 20, 30, etc. until I get in a nice rhythm whereas if I started by pushing myself to 100% on day one I would never do anything on day two. Not trying to say it’s what’s right for everyone or that it would work for you, but I wish you the best, it’s a hard path.
You think it’s funny that someone cares about truth and reality?