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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 3rd, 2023

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  • The therapy take is that this feeling comes about because you grew up in an environment where it wasn’t emotionally/physically safe for you to relax. Even as an adult with well managed/medicated ADHD, the subconscious parts of your brain are still trying to protect you, so no relaxation allowed. imo, this is extra common in ADHD folk because even parts of our own brains were mad at us for not having executive function.

    In particularly bad cases, this can rise to the level of being C-PTSD. Feeling unable to relax is a big indicator that whatever is going on in your head needs to be addressed. Therapy is expensive, but there’s ways to get it covered by insurance, especially if you have an ADHD diagnosis.



  • I’m not autistic, just ADHD, so please stop me if I’m invading a space where my commentary isn’t welcome.

    You didn’t recognize that the girl in question was setting boundaries, which isn’t your fault, but I’ll get back to that in a minute. From her perspective, she made it clear that she wasn’t interested in you romantically, but she felt like subsequent actions still had romantic intent, like spending a lot of time near her and chatting. The way she was communicating with you wasn’t working, so she tried asking a friend to find an alternative resolution. I don’t want to get into the details of defining what “creepy” might mean to different people, but what’s important is that she felt unheard and wasn’t able to influence her environment to meet her needs. And that sucks for anyone.

    Autism makes it hard to understand subtler forms of boundary setting, but you can totally learn how! I had a poor time understanding and respecting boundaries because throughout my whole childhood, my boundaries were never respected, nor were anyone’s boundaries in my childhood environment, so I never learned. And the things I implicitly learned where downright harmful. I may be projecting a bit, but I suspect you have a difficult time both setting and respecting boundaries because you haven’t been taught. Personally, I loved the book (or audiobook) Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Tawwab. It walks through a bunch of conversation examples regarding setting boundaries, which my autistic brother said is super helpful.

    https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095







  • Other than medication, the only thing that works for me is going consistently with someone else. Playing games like tennis or racket ball also keeps my brain from giving up. Indoor bouldering where I can make progress on smaller routes can keep me from losing motivation or getting bored, too




  • My friend, you think this likely because your family exhibits these traits (genetics) as do your friends(attracted to like groups). You’re using two ADHD meme traits, like thinking everyone feels this way and using extra parentheses (for bonus content). I bet you’ve also been told that you’re not living up to your potential (and that’s true!).

    If you want something objective, have a coffee or two at 6pm and see if you’re still able to fall asleep that night. The neuro typical folks would be unable to quiet down their brain.



  • I don’t have a good answer for your direct question. It sounds to me like you’re primarily in search of someone you can trust. If I were in your situation, I’d try to find a friend or family member that I trusted absolutely, then see if that friend was willing to talk through the psych plan/feelings/treatments. That trusted friend may be able to offer a different view point that will convince you that your psychiatrist’s plan is good/bad for you personally.

    I’d do it this way because then I could have 2 separate concerns. 1) I’d need to find a trustworthy friend. 2) I’d need to find a knowledgeable psychiatrist. I think that’s much easier than finding a psychiatrist who can be both.