The cat knew he was in trouble and was like: OK, this ONE TIME I will come running to you.

That’s what I was gonna say. It doesn’t even have to be a religious thing. To a lot of people church/mosque/temple is a cultural thing.

“How did you go bankrupt?” Bill asked.

“Two ways,” Mike said. “Gradually and then suddenly.”

History’s like that too. People took their best guesses, but nobody knew for sure.

“You don’t think it’s weird when YOU do it!”

Haunted GameStop.

In the 1700s Europe, rich folks would hire Garden Hermits. So your proposal has some precedent.

I read that when a cat squints at you, it actually means they trust you, i.e. they don’t have to stay alert around you.

I dunno about them in particular, but in general half a million Germans emigrated to the US between the world wars.

Maybe it’s bc I’ve been doing a lot of proofreading recently, but the first thing I noticed was reference to “the Battle of Dover Straight” instead of Strait.

Check out youth hostels / Hostelling International. Basically they’re inexpensive dorm-like hotels mostly targetted at younger backpackers. The ones in LA and Boston are in great locations. About 12% of Americans are of German descent (cite) so ask around, you or a family friend probably have a distant relative who immigrated here at some point.

So: get a cheap plane ticket. Fly into a city with a youth hostel. Wander around for a while. Catch a Greyhound Bus to visit your distant relative in Iowa. Hang out with them for a while. Catch another Greyhound to another city with a youth hostel. Fly back. You will meet a lot of people in the hostels. You’ll meet a lot of people on the Greyhound. Look up stuff ahead of time, not just tourist stuff but concerts or clubs or sports events wherever you go to. Sure it costs money but it’s a hell of a lot more fun than a resort or a cruise or whatever. Wait, isn’t “wanderjahr” a German word? Anyway after you spend a month or two here you’ll know whether you still like us or not.

• https://www.hiusa.org/
• https://hihostels.com/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hostelling_International
• https://www.greyhound.com/

A lot of people are saying ADHD, but I think in some cases it could also be anxiety or depression.