There’s a line running through the middle of this; on one side you’re strongly independent and on the other side you’re an asshole. I’ve veered back and forward across this line for most of my life (in my late 40s now). There’s no hard and fast rules around which side of the line you’re on in any given situation, every circumstance is different and needs to be assessed on its own merits.

If meeting somebody halfway means doing something I don’t want to do, I don’t want a relationship with this person.

Having this as a hard rule that you always stick to, will frequently put you on the asshole side of the line. Sometimes its nice to do something for someone, even if you don’t particularly enjoy it, just because it’ll make them happy. If you care a lot about them, making them happy is enjoyable (well, it should be!) even if the specific activity isn’t. As I said, you assess each situation on its own merits. Figuring out how much you’re willing to compromise on stuff like this, and for whom, is just something you’ll need to work on over time. If it’s something that you don’t particularly want to do but it’ll make your partner really happy, why wouldn’t you want to give them that?

Communication is key. You need to be able to explain to the person why you make these decisions, but also be able to listen to them about how they feel about it, and find some understanding on both sides.

But why must couples do everything together?

They shouldn’t, people who think like that are awful. But they should do some things together. Probably quite a lot of things.

If a person I’m dating feels entitled to try to change me, I don’t see how a relationship would work

Going from being by yourself to being in a relationship will always require changes. If the way you think in a relationship doesn’t change to include the other person, then you’re not really in a relationship you’re just hanging out. People shouldn’t try to force changes on people against their will, but you should be accepting that you will need to make some changes, just because it is a fundamentally changed situation from being on your own.

It does sound to me like you have some reflexive responses that are a reaction to your upbringing, that I suspect will make it difficult for you to communicate and negotiate through a relationship in these ways. Some kind of therapy can potentially help you work through some of this, but also being self aware (which you seem to have some amount of) and learning through experience should be able to mature these aspects of your personality over time, as long as you make the effort to self-assess and try and be as objective as possible in those assessments.

I always thought he was known for fictional war writing like Tom Clancy

I think you’re thinking of someone else, pretty sure he doesn’t do this.

I can see why XD

Named after Rizzo the rat?

It touches on how anime influences real-life travel.

I mean it’s not a big deal, but that definitely doesn’t fall under the concept of world building, imo.

I admit I only read the summary but, despite having it in the title, this doesn’t seem relevant to this sub? Am I missing something?

For it to make any sense you really need to think through the timeline of both things and how they interact.

When were they learned and what did that process look like? If magic is just some inherent force that people can use innately, did that remove the motivation to study science? Or at least to find applied uses for science, for things that magic can already do?

What is the relative effort of achieving things with magic vs science (including the accumulated effort of discovering and researching how to do it)? Nobody is going to spend the time and money to build a scientific solution if someone can just wave their hand and achieve the same goal.

And the first questions is: how does science explain magic? What are the rules for magic, energy sources, limitations, etc

To make it interesting I think you need to have inherent limitations in magic that creates a niche for science, things that magic can’t do or that is very costly for magic to do. And then once you have a reason for science to be invested in, you have to consider the ways that magic can enhance the pursuit of science. You don’t need to invent microscopes if you can use magic to see tiny objects.

And then you have to consider the combinations of magic and science. What does warfare look like if you can use magic to teleport a nuclear warhead anywhere in the world? What does space exploration look like if you can use magic to create oxygen?

To do it with any kind of facade of realism is extremely complex, but presents a lot of opportunities for interesting and unique worldbuilding.

This is obviously not real.

Not sure if it got nerfed, I haven’t played in a while. The throwing hammer didn’t have great range but usually enough to throw it from outside of an enemy’s aggro range. And the best thing about it was that with a fully charged throw it would knock down a lot of enemies, it was amazing to initiate combat with a knockdown from range and then run in and smash them.

I ran dual greathammers with this and the smith’s hammer that you can throw. One of the most fun builds I’ve ever played, insane damage and surprisingly fast for such a heavy build.

Maybe I should start one, I’ll call it Things I Learned From 35 Years of Nihilistic Hedonism.

In terms of impacting your life, weed is an addictive drug like meth or coke. It doesn’t have the physical addictive impact of those drugs (i.e. you don’t go into physical withdrawals) but it can have large impacts on your psychology and day to day to life. For a lot of people it is a massive demotivator and will prevent you from achieving the things you want out of life.

Treat it like an addictive drug. You have a problem, take strong actions to treat it. The good news is that it is much easier to get off than other drugs that have a physical addiction. If you get through 2 or 3 days without smoking the strong urge to smoke should fade. Get rid of your weed, don’t have any in the house when you’re trying to stop. Tell your friends that smoke that you’re trying to stop and not to give you any or smoke around you. Once you’ve gone a a few days without smoking you’ll be shocked how much less the urge is there. Go without for 2 weeks before you even think about smoking again, just to prove to yourself that you can do it.

But it’s very easy to start again, so make some rules around when you allow yourself to smoke. Only use it as a reward for getting stuff done that day. Never smoke 2 days in a row. Every time you go to smoke, tell yourself out loud “I will not achieve any of my goals today”.

lol you’re the one who came in swinging with “for all I know!” “you could be lying!” as soon as I pressed you on a point. That’s the definition of a bad faith argument, you’re not acctually trying to engage with points of discussion you’re just trying to “win” the conversation.

lol do you always assume anyone who disagrees with you is acting in bad faith? Whst a convenient way to shield yourself from uncomfortable truths.

No wonder you’re desperate to lock someone into a relationship with you asap, you sound nuts.

Paranoia wtf? I’ve formed my opinions from my life experiences, are you trying to tell me you’ve done peer reviewed research to decide what makes a good relationship?

I was with my wife for 10 years before I proposed. We have the best relationship of anyone we know. I know plenty of people who married after a couple of years and are fucking miserable.

This is terrible advice. Most people’s “gut” reactions are heavily based on external influences like peer group pressure, media influence and upbringing.

Practice critical thinking.

If you’re in a good relationship but they leave because they couldn’t wait 4 years to get married, then you fucking dodged a bullet. Jesus fucking christ.

Find a skill based hobby that you love and practice it every week. Stuff like a sport, musical instrument, art, etc. The hobby itself will be rewarding but there is no substitute for having decades of experience under your belt for these kind of activities.

Also, don’t have children.

I’ve been a programmer for decades and I still sometimes look at code I wrote 6 months ago like what the fuck was I thinking. Code is as much art as science.