I could go on like everyone else and try to make you understand that you absolutely have many more chances for love and that you, like everyone, deserve love. However, it seems like that’s just not an answer you’re willing to accept.
It’s a self fulfilling prophecy: if you tell yourself you suck or that you’re awful or that there’s no way you can ever deserve love, then you yourself will make it happen, whether consciously or subconsciously. You can say you’re like this or that and that no one wants this or that but that’s actually verifiably false. MAYBE if there’s only 100 people in your small village then maybe there’s no one there, but there’s an entire country, an entire continent, and entire world that you just need to open yourself up to. There’s not just one person who would want to love you but so many. They just don’t know it yet.
But you know what, you’re right, fuck me and everyone else telling you this. You must be unlovable and an awful person because you say so and because everyone isn’t their own worst critic (that’s heavy sarcasm, by the way).
Seriously read some of these posts here and think about them. Don’t just read them and think the entire time “well that’s great for you but it could never be me”. Open yourself up to other perspectives and you’ll be better for it.
In response to the whole bit about the Japanese government, it seems that the quotes were taken way more seriously than they should have been. Pretty cookie cutter responses that also say that It isn’t really their concern.
https://www.gamesradar.com/games/assassin-s-creed/assassins-creed-shadows-debate-somehow-reaches-japanese-government-ministries-who-reportedly-remind-everyone-that-historical-fiction-isnt-really-their-concern-at-all/