Exactly! “Hey, being a friend is great but not great enough that I value it if you won’t sleep with me!” And worse, the guy seems to know she’s in a bad place and is just “yeah, sure, but what about me??? I wanna sleep with her, she knows this and hasn’t acted on it so either lemme bang or gtfo, fuck your mental state.”)
Also, love the picture.
Maybe but I think you either really want this guy to be the good guy here or you’re not reading particularly critically. This guy makes an actual analogy of friendship as “like only being allowed to smell a fine wine instead of drinking it.” which is pretty gross, like the point of friendship is actually dating or nothing. (No one buys a wine to smell it, whereas most normal people can just be friends of whatever gender to be friends.)
And this isn’t a case of “she just doesn’t know how I feel!” as he states at the beginning she knows, so she is un interested or not in the right space.
And yeah, “You’re the one equating taking a girl out on a date with having sex.” because what most dating is about is a platonic hand holding?
I get I’m online and this place skews young, male and not particularly social but this is fairly goshdarn creepy. Like, is this guy unable to function around interesting women who have partners? Or is it just that this woman has the audacity to be single while he’s single and RIGHT HERE and they’re already friends so clearly she owes him? Ugh.
Edit: I don’t think Lemmy has enough women for a vibrant NiceGuys community but if you’re still on reddit, you should give r/NiceGuys a whirl. It’s kind of full of this self pitying “but I’m her friend, surely she should want to date me” kinda creepiness.
Well yeah, it’s not like you’d have a choice. She does not allow insubordination.
A) It’s not an analogy, it’s a summation of facts.
B) I would put heavy money says F Tony finds this person fairly attractive and bizzarely, this situation hasn’t arisen with an unattractive female friend.
C) I’ve been that asshole, I get it. But personally, a huge part of maturing from a boy to a man was learning the difference between friendship and romance, and that a friendship with an attractive woman who seems super compatible doesn’t mean a romantic relationship is the next or best step. (Also, how fucking shitty is this to our lady friends?) It’s a weird lesson and not one that everyone learns but my God, the world opens up once/if you do figure it out.
I’d like to be friends but only if we can have sex.
Doesn’t really sound like a rock solid friendship there.
I can only give my experience and I think mine is a bit unusual but here goes.
Like the Office Space folks, I’m a dev in a large (admittedly, non profit and really good) organization. Since covid, I’ve worked remotely but my day to day hasn’t changed.
We have a help desk where people send questions/issues. Someone on our team generally splits those roughly based on workload, skills, knowledge etc. Our goal is about half our work should be those one off requests.
I also have client units within the organization. They usually come to me with wild, bold ideas that I help make a reality or explain (gently) why what they are asking for is insane. Some of thr projects are based on what folks have heard are best practices in our industry, others are about cutting down manual work/seeing what we can automate.
Any of those projects can take anywhere from a couple hours to a couple of months. Some require buy in from other units, so on those I end up on a lot of meetings and email threads answering questions, hearing suggestions etc. I then (usually) coordinate with my manager to make sure I’m not stepping on any toes or there aren’t considerations which I had yet to consider.
Today for example, I spent about half the day working on help desk tickets, about 1/3 of my time was clarifying “what the hell are you trying to say?” Or pointing out logical gaps etc (much easier to do this upfront than write a bunch of code and have someone realize they meant something else entirely… People are dumb.) The other 2/3 was coding.
On my major projects, I spent an annoying amount of time emailing around to get approvals so a project manager would accept that my clients were fine with something I built, even though it was a bit unorthodox. Then a couple hours actually working on another project.
Plus, y’know, Lemmy time, cat skritching time and a bit of cooking.
Admittedly, my experience is unusual. I’m hihhly skilled but slightly underpaid in a non profit, so folks compensate by giving a lot of leeway. So a nice work environment plus I think what I do makes the world a better place, I’m pretty happy. I understand most office jobs are not quite like that but I don’t think they’re far off.
I love a good jerk chicken:
https://dinnerthendessert.com/slow-cooker-jerk-chicken/
Honestly, I’ve had a lot of success recently using LLMs for suggestions like this plus whatever I have in my fridge. Came up with a tasty siracha maple and maple mustard pair when I saw a deal on shitty bulk maple syrup.
They’ve really let me take advantage of deals and sales etc.
I think it takes a wild leap to say that the guy who compared being friends and unable to date as smelling wine but not being allowed to drink it, what he really wants is the soulful bond of a romantic relationship in an asexual manner. That’s just a completely wild interpretation supported by nothing other than, I dunno, wanting it to be the case?