I immediately was like “smart pipe!” No fuckin’ way.

“As for asshole pictures, as far as I know, asshole recognition technology isn’t as developed as facial recognition technology yet.”

Fecal recognition technology.

Beautiful comment, I love it.

Also: “pressuring users to move to “philips security” which will require your lighting to be connected to their servers 24/7.”

Is the most unhinged boring techno dystopia shit I’ve read. It’s a goddamn light bulb, kindly fuck right off with that shit.

Hey… Boulders ain’t cheap either.

To quote a friend of mine, “Joe Biden is the used car salesman his daddy always wanted to be.”

“Safesleevecases.com”. I think they’re selling you something as opposed to reporting news.

Well she’s dead now unfortunately.

Rub your nose on your anus and you’ll have your answer.

Oh man, wait until you learn about the guy who hung the Nazis.

John C. Woods https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_C._Woods?wprov=sfla1

My favorite detail is how, either through incompetence or malice, John didn’t make the hole in the gallows big enough. As a result each Nazi that made the plunge smashed his face on the way down.

Warms my heart.

And of course a link to my favorite podcast I am duty bound to shill for. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/the-bastard-who-executed-the-55213274/

With his bare fucking hands, apparently.

EDIT: Not to be confused with his bear fucking hands.

Seems to me like they’ve just upped the price $10 with each successive generation of consoles.

I enjoy this idea immensely.

There’s plenty of poor boomers. They’re mostly dead on account of being poor, we’re just left with the rich ones.

Yo it’s no stupid questions, not no evil questions.

Blinker fluid is not real. Timing belts are very much real. I’m assuming she’s in on the bit.

“I think a lot of these scripts are written by AI,” Ryan Watson Henderson, the star of Flash Marriage to My Werewolf Husband and My Husband Killed Me and Then I Won the Megaball, says. “There are certain beats in the story that happen, almost to a formula.” He considers this a compelling acting challenge unique to verticals: “I try to bring some of myself to it and hopefully make it as human as I can,” he says."

What a rollercoaster of a paragraph. Are we sure this isn’t The Onion?

Hundreds and hundreds of years.

The other 91% is in my balls.

I can only read the first paragraph and then it asks me to create an account.

I’ve also heard that.