because an NT literally cannot handle the truth, i.e the actual, literal truth that you just said. they must dig for an implication or inference.
if you tell them, literally, exactly, “i’m going now because i’m exhausted, talk to you next time” an NT will make an inference, or find a hidden implication, because that’s what NT brains do, that’s how NT brains talk.
the inference here is “oh, they’re exhausted by me, and so they don’t like me?? oh noo :(((” when actually, the truth is literally, exactly what you said.
remember, your literal statement runs counter to 99% of their lived NT to NT social interactions, where their inferences do hold true, and if an NT told an NT that “ok, i’m exhausted, i’m going”, that actually implies they don’t like the other NT. you see what i mean?
these differences in language usage can be explained through the double empathy problem, it’s well worth reading into.
so, the tiresome way to explain the truth, every time, is to explain that a) you have autism, b) you can get tired easily by social situations, and c) that it’s not their fault. the problem with this approach is that a lot of NT interactions are “throwaway” interactions. classic example is two people walking on a sidewalk, and you both have dogs. you may or may not have to stop and talk to this person for a throwaway interaction, that will last 2 to 5 minutes, and you do not have time in this interaction to explain points a, b, and c. so, for their sake and yours, it’s time to mask up! 🥸
because an NT literally cannot handle the truth, i.e the actual, literal truth that you just said. they must dig for an implication or inference.
if you tell them, literally, exactly, “i’m going now because i’m exhausted, talk to you next time” an NT will make an inference, or find a hidden implication, because that’s what NT brains do, that’s how NT brains talk.
the inference here is “oh, they’re exhausted by me, and so they don’t like me?? oh noo :(((” when actually, the truth is literally, exactly what you said.
remember, your literal statement runs counter to 99% of their lived NT to NT social interactions, where their inferences do hold true, and if an NT told an NT that “ok, i’m exhausted, i’m going”, that actually implies they don’t like the other NT. you see what i mean?
these differences in language usage can be explained through the double empathy problem, it’s well worth reading into.
so, the tiresome way to explain the truth, every time, is to explain that a) you have autism, b) you can get tired easily by social situations, and c) that it’s not their fault. the problem with this approach is that a lot of NT interactions are “throwaway” interactions. classic example is two people walking on a sidewalk, and you both have dogs. you may or may not have to stop and talk to this person for a throwaway interaction, that will last 2 to 5 minutes, and you do not have time in this interaction to explain points a, b, and c. so, for their sake and yours, it’s time to mask up! 🥸
this is why you can’t “just tell the truth”.
furthe reading into the double empathy problem: Source 1, Source 2, Source 3