Sometimes the victory needed is victorious-internal-integrity, & winning-the-social-majority isn’t as important to one.

“seize every defeat from the clutches of victory” … IF one is only measuring social-victory, then fine…

But if what I’m doing is … systematically demolishing the ideological-prejudice-enforced displacement-of-my-validity, within me, then integrity can mean MUCH more than ideological/political-approval.

Sometimes you have to save your own life, even letting the collective die, in THIS battle, for sake of becoming indestructible in future-battles, throughout the rest of the war.

The war is more important than the mere-battles!

This is what I think Stephen R. Covey didn’t understand in his interdependency principle.

I think too-much of our world is codependent, not interdependent, & that it takes REAL independence -of-validity before one can get into actual interdependent-collaboration-synergy.

There’s a metaphor given by Kelsang Gyatso, in 1 of his books, which gets it right:

There are 3 ways of helping people, & these phrasings are mine, not his:

• the self-conqueror, who can coerce an entire kingdom into working right, in spite of entrenched corruption/rot/whatever
• the shepherd, who can lead many, but who is only slightly above them, so the shepherd can be indirectly or directly defeated by their lack of self-conquering: they are less-helpless, but they aren’t anywhere near the self-conqueror level.
• the ferry-pilot, who helps a couple of people at a time, & then goes back to find a few more to help.

In my experience, only the self-conqueror is robust: all the lesser kinds of help are helpless when opponent-force gets great-enough, or acts through great-enough leverage/torque.

Therefore, I want, and am aiming-for, TOTAL breaking of all the PTSD, all the damage embedded in me by ideology’s & prejudice’s ( including medical-profession’s ) gaslighting & abuse, all the harm embedded in me by medical-culture’s narcissism in parenting & “parenting”, ALL of it.

I want THIS LIFE unbroken.

& if people say I should enslave/snuff my potential to short-term/consensus/social-momentary-victory, then fine: hate, contempt, & reject my presumed alternative, as nearly-all already do.

But all I have to do is win, & then the rules changed, permanently, completely, & then this-life is in the next-level-up, & cannot be crushed by the masses wielded by the ideologies/prejudices/etc.

Getting permabanned by many instances, by many communities, because I value integrity more than I value political-belonging, is normal.

But every time I ratchet this-life’s objectivity+integrity a bit harder in the right-direction, that puts a little more good-change in me.

& sooner or later that tipping-point’s going to get crossed, & the brokenness hobbling my unconscious-mind is itself going to fail/break.

Then the game is changed.

That potential is to me real.

To all others, it is mere-delusion/lies: it never was real, & it never can be real.

So, the world bets its way, & I bet my way.

Universe will decide which is, in its eyes, true.

_ /\ _