Ever since I was about three years old, I’ve required some sort of special education. For the most part, It was for social reasons, but later became academic. I hated it, it was almost always people yelling at me because I couldn’t do something right, and got all excited when I did.

I’ve tried to explain my mom how I felt, But she just explained that everything I’ve learned is from special education. I swear to God, I found social stories on YouTube and that’s how I learned them, But my mom glared at me, And said “Really? You didn’t learn them in therapy? Even your preschool teacher did social stories with you.” I don’t know why that made me so angry. I’ve tried telling her that all this extra support has just made me a failure at life because everything was done for me and nobody let me do anything on my own. My mom told me that I should be grateful for that because she didn’t get that she was a kid, But she and my aunt are two of the most successful people I know. I understand That sometimes coddling can be beneficial, but let me enlighten you as to what it is done to me.

So as a kid, I struggled with talking, and also with being kind to people. So my mom would reward me every time I get some good or talked to somebody new. Sometimes she would reward me for no reason at all. Overtime, I ended up becoming really entitled, and wanted rewards every time I did something good. My Mom told me I was being spoiled, Yet, when I told her that she shouldn’t be rewarded all the time, She said, “But look at how far you’ve come! All this support from everybody has helped you get where you are today.”

This is true, however, I don’t like when she gives everybody else credit for the things I do on my own. She told me that coddling is essential, and that it is what got me where I am. This could not be further from the truth. Sure, I talked to new people and was nicer to them, but my adult skills were 100% on my own.

I’ve tried to tell this to my mom, But she asks why I want to do this to myself? She doesn’t understand that pushing me out of the nest has actually benefited me more than coddling me all my life. I went from an 18 year old being terrified to leave my mother’s side At the doctor or dentists office and not being able to manage money, To a 19 year old who books my own appointments, and tell my mom to wait in the car while I go in there myself, And using my Visa card to pay for stuff I want on my own.

This all came from my mom telling me, “You’re an adult now you need to check yourself into this appointment, I’ll be over there sitting down.” From there, When the nurse called my name, She told me calmly that I could just go back by myself. After that, She took me to the pharmacy, And gave me a random choice. She told me she was picking up medicine, And asked if I wanted to do it, or observe how she does it for the day. To prove I could handle it, I did it. Then we had to go pick up my sister from summer school. On the way, We stopped at a gas station. While my mom got gas, She asked me to pick up a drink for my sister, And then handed me the money and told me to just do it. All of the stuff was taught to me very last minute, but I gave my mom all the credit for pushing me out of the nest and letting me be independent. I don’t enjoy the method, it works best for me.

Unfortunately, My mom and I got in a big fight last night over the phone because I tried to explain this stuff to her. She gave 90% of the credit to me being in special education and needing that extra support, And that’s what made me come so far. All Special education did was make me hate myself, nothing in it prepared me for the real world. All of my adult skills came from reward charts, and my mom pushing me out of the nest.

I really struggle to communicate, My mom doesn’t enjoy it because I often times waffle back-and-forth about what I’m saying. She ended up ranting to me, Telling me that she hates talking to me on the phone because I do this, And that she’s never gonna talk to me on the phone ever again. To communicate, She said I could email, text her or talk to her in person. She also said that I’m making a really bad choice if I Cut the string to being independent because I can’t manage life on my own, And that is getting pushed out of the Nest Is what I really want, then she’s gonna tell everyone to stop coddling me.

This is not what I want, however, this new independence has been nothing but beneficial to me. My parents still pay for my tuition, but I’m in charge of going to school, making friends, getting good grades, getting a job, keeping my dorm clean, etc. To be clear, I am very grateful for my family and everything they do for me, but I just wish my parents could understand why pushing me is so helpful.

Has anybody else felt this way? I hope I’m not coming off as rude or disrespectful.