This info is for true gamers only. Cease reading immediately and go about your business if you are not 100% a true gamer.
Notice of Challenge follows (true gamers only):
Beginning February 3, WILL, current champion and holder of the Extreme Boss Killer Belt, whose reign of glory began on 11th December, 2024, WILL BE TAKING ON ALL CHALLENGERS in ALL-OUT VIDEO GAME COMBAT across six of the MOST BRUTAL GAMES OF ALL TIME.
That’s right.
Announcing: Reign of Will: Will Defends the Extreme Boss Killer Belt Against All Challengers, Loser! Land Defense Benefit Brawl.
The Extreme Boss Killer Belt is on the line, and can only be won by gamers willing to do battle beyond the limits of human ethics and below the limits of modern hardware. Do you think you’re a real video gaming champion, punk? Prove it.
Take on fellow competitors in these six ETHICALLY PARADOXICAL titles:
- Moonwalker (Genesis) (https://retroachievements.org/game/263)
- Avenging Spirit (GameBoy) (https://retroachievements.org/game/4069)
- Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (PSX) (https://retroachievements.org/game/11325)
- Godzilla 2: War of the Monsters (NES) (https://retroachievements.org/game/1713)
- Cadillacs and Dinosaurs (Arcade) (https://retroachievements.org/game/11763)
- Donkey Kong (GameBoy) (https://retroachievements.org/game/692)
Earn as many achievements and game completions as you can in these titles during the contest period (February 3rd to March 16th). We’ll cap things off with the Turok Mega Showdown Experience, after which a champion will be crowned.
There is an (optional) entrance fee, which participants should directly donate to 7 Directions of Service, an indigenous environmental activist group (recommended amount: an hour of your wages).
Prize
The victor of this competition will be declared the Extreme Boss Killer Champion and receive a glorious belt as testament to their achievement. The glory and personal fulfillment the champion will experience is guaranteed to remain unrivaled in the individual’s natural lifetime. The victor may realize the profound burden of power that comes with rising to the level of Extreme Boss Killer Champion, and forsake their previous life to become a wandering hero. There is no “second place,” nor runners up.
Interested gamers should sign up for RetroAchievements at https://retroachievements.org and complete the fields on this Sign-up sheet. More detailed contest parameters can be found here. [1]
Disclaimer: The ESRB is hiring Pinkerton hit men to try and stop Reign of Will: Will Defends the Extreme Boss Killer Belt Against All Challengers, Loser! Land Defense Benefit Brawl. Multiple churches have united to denounce Reign of Will: Will Defends the Extreme Boss Killer Belt Against All Challengers, Loser! Land Defense Benefit Brawl. Your mom doesn’t think you are good enough at video games to win Reign of Will: Will Defends the Extreme Boss Killer Belt Against All Challengers, Loser! Land Defense Benefit Brawl. Many of you will spend the rest of your lives wondering if you were ever good enough to compete in Reign of Will: Will Defends the Extreme Boss Killer Belt Against All Challengers, Loser! Land Defense Benefit Brawl, even when you were seventeen. The only way to win your unrequited love’s heart is to win Reign of Will: Will Defends the Extreme Boss Killer Belt Against All Challengers, Loser! Land Defense Benefit Brawl. Nothing will bring your dreams back except, perhaps, Reign of Will: Will Defends the Extreme Boss Killer Belt Against All Challengers, Loser! Land Defense Benefit Brawl. ↩︎
I accept the challenge. I’m taking you down.
Also, I call out @knokelmaat as promised, if you yet live for the game.