like… seriously this.

yes but it made him and shareholders very rich.

haven’t tried skipping on purpose. yet

housing are people to live in. shouldn’t be used for speculation. a landlord in my building owns like 7 or 8 apartments. insanely hight rent prices. this should be fucking ilegal. greed destroying society

UPDATE. still alive. don’t feel anything tbh. maybe helps a bit with the Concerta crash. some days I forget to take 1 or 2 out of the 3 daily pills. maybe a bit more anxiety those days? can’t distinguish between anxiety caused by real world problems

next consult is January, will probably stop taking it. slowly I imagine to reduce sideffects. or I could try cold turkey. really curious about how’d feel. if anything at all.

I’d trade with a dying kid. its okay, I’m just exhausted of the requirements for a “decent/basic” life. ive thought about changing what I consider “decent/basic”… but… energy.

about the one way trip… it was a dark day. but it’s always there in the background as a possible “solution/option”

I usually fantasize about having a terminal disease. or an accident. something out of my control that releases me from any “responsability” about not being strong enough to do what it takes to “succeed”/survive. like having a 9-5 job. I’ve had one for 3 years. worst time of my life. honestly I don’t know how I survived… the occasional beer with a friend that felt the same way and hope probably

I’m on meds (psychiatrist, and Concerta helped with basic things like doing bed and dishes) and recently tried psychologist as well. I quit after 5 sessions because I just felt we were going in circles. I already had thought about the options/solutions the psychologist gave me so… nothing new. and 50 euros (cheap comparing to competition) per hour is kinda expensive for my budget. “find your passion” yeah. I’ve been trying my whole life. I just get bored at some point, force to keep it going until I can’t anymore and quit.

anyway, thanks for the kind words. hopefully I didn’t trigger anyone with my hopelessness

if I don’t find a job that is bearable I don’t think I’ll reach being much older. ive even been looking into one way tickets as a “one last thing” 😅

I can’t find time and honestly I don’t think I enjoy most things anymore. my rest time is spent thinking about how I should be doing something to change my situation. instead do nothing/watch TV series and then feel bad about it 😅

you mentioned piano. I had a lot of fun with it for a few months until I started to feel “wanted time”.

a few years ago I bought one, learned the basics and started to feel that feeling of wasting time. at first, I actually had fun with it. it was so interesting learning/practicing. I just couldn’t justify time spent anymore. it’s stored away now.

can’t even play video games anymore which I loved because… can’t enjoy them with this constant feeling of having to do something productive that actually helps/improve my life. tired of this feeling. I’ve been feeling it for the last 20 years. it’s gotten bad lately.

my life desperately needs to improve financially. that’s my hard reality.

damn. that’s nice. wish I could do that 🤣 focus on my hobbies, actually rest, be able to read and enjoy a book.

i have daydreamt about that my entire life 😅

unfortunately I have to find something that pays the bills AND that is bearable. that’s the hard part.

free time to actually do stuff without feeling guilty? the dream.

what do you do now? is it bearable?

what’s your job! 😭

yes. a bit. until we added Strattera to the mix

I usually upvote but today is not a good day. personal stuff happened. depressed blabla I’ll feel better after sleeping

I’ve set up a reminder in 2 weeks

done. I’ve upvoted all your replies

I’ve tried wellbutrin before. before I was on any stimulants.

wellbutrin made me sedated af. after a few weeks it was a Lil better and less sedated but still… didn’t notice anything besides the sedated part

what fucked me bareback with aids was Strattera. only took 80mg for a month ing August and it was fucking bad. full body goose bumps for no reason. weird feelings, and it also made me depressed. which continues I guess. my situation in life doesn’t help either but still. I was sort of fine while taking 72mg concerta.

chronical withdrawal? damn. you’re scaring me. a bit. what exactly do you mean?

if I stop taking it. 5 months from now, without taking it, will I still feel the withdrawal or something?

I’ve already read the entire wiki, posts, everything I could find. the issue seems to be the dosages. recreational usage is like 1-10g or more. with such low dosage not sure I’ll feel something even If I stop cold turkey.

3 pills per day. 12.5mg each. she said to space it out. breakfast, lunch, dinner

2nd day on 37.5.mg. don’t feel much. maybe a bit less anxiety. she said it takes over a month to feel the effects. huh lol. next consult is in January. not sure what to feel or believe. Just depressed in general lol

i have the awareness of a potato so… if it’s not an obvious feeling, I’ll just discard it without thinking about it.

edit: in the past I’ve stopped taking 72mg for a week (after taking it daily for 3 months or something) and felt… a bit of a headache. maybe.

she offered 1st based on possible side effects I wanted to avoid (other antidepressants I tried like fluoxetine affected my sex life, in a negative way). I hadn’t read anything about it.

yeah. I’m following what psych said.

3 pills. breakfast, lunch and dinner no side effects now. a little less anxiety I guess