If this were real, I’d say you probably got soap in their eyes.

They absolutely make “smart” curtains rods.

My sleep schedule doesn’t always have me needing to wake up after sunrise, so I instead have two of those umbrella-looking photography lamps at each side of the foot of the bed. Works great, but hard to convince dates I’m not filming them, so sometimes I have to remove them.

And the Cognitive Tradeoff Hypothesis would say we gave up that ability to get complex language.

You two should never walk through a doorway on mushrooms.

Proton accepts bitcoin and mailed envelopes of cash.

That’s why she needs a next guest.

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You should try The Fox and the Hound. It’s uplifting.

The wholesomeness of this all, with a bee at the end, has put the Adventure Time credits theme in my head, and that makes me happy.

Which they’ll then confiscate to give to The Church, who will be our new overlords 😔

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Do Muslims count as a denomination? And if not, why not?

Community note: this claim lacks empirical evidence 🤓

(this advice does not apply if you want to sell adderall)

What a sweet kitty trying to cover your poop for you since you were clearly never taught how.

She’s auditioning for the role of HR lady.

Thank you!

Try again when sober.

Damn pharmacy benefit managers.