I remember in ~2000 someone was in the parking lot of my office at a picnic table on their laptop and people commented how “cool” that was.

I’ve noticed since then that IT people qualify anything that drives work into personal spaces as “cool”.

2012: Wow, you can hot spot to your blackberry and connect your laptop to the Internet from the ferry, when you used to just let the wind ruffle your hair during your commute? “Cool.”

2026: Wow AI can write 78% of your code so you can produce twice as much shitty code while you spend even more time at your desk then you used to, for less money? “Cool.”

Don’t forget the Big Gulp

Well, you freed the slaves that you had enslaved. I mean, their descendants anyway.

I guess the answer is yes. Some small part of you can be proud to be American again. All you have to do is not think about it too hard, and you could try yelling “Silver Bullet” and shotgunning a Coors Light every now and then. That could maybe act as a stand-in for pride, anyway. C’mon buddy, it’s not that bad…

In all seriousness, individually Americans are pretty good people. Well, a few of the ones I know personally anyway. That’s like a couple of baker’s dozens! That’s something!

That might be useful.

It’s more like, you buy a pair of boots online.

FB and Chrome for the next week and a half BOOTS!! BOOTS HERE!!

Well, my 2G Nokia candy bar phone will come in handy

Hero

Be reasonable

Some songs are best loud, but slide them slightly off your ears when you get to those

Have fun

I remember stories from my dad about a guy he knew where the bar maid would have to help him with the first drink in the morning because his hands would shake so much.

The romantic history of the happy drunk is almost entirely fictional. I say almost because I know a few people who are able to take it or leave it, but for the most part the people I know/knew who were drinking either in bunches or daily end up complete and unabridged alcoholics, whether they are active and in serious trouble or have sought help and straightened up, but cannot touch it.

I’m planning to burn a vacation day someday and reserve one night at a hotel attached to a Nordic Spa. Show up at the spa when it opens, stay there all day, switching between hot and cold, napping, reading, meditating, and then at closing crawl into the hotel room and go to bed.

I bet that is like having two nights’ sleep in one.

No it doesn’t.

Count your breaths

When you find that your mind has wandered, start the count over

Don’t keep track of anything

You need to drink more coffee

I just passed a LARP group in a park near my place. Three had to be forty people gathered in a picnic area comparing their costumes

Bought a coke at a little corner store in Beijing. Asked for a straw. They brought a watermelon.

You should meet my friend, Sue…

Just make sure a HR rep is there too

Is that what that makeup represents

Well what the hell am I supposed to do with this vomit infuser?

They’ll accompany them with vomit infused napkins

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