My way of dealing with this is probably very unhealthy:

• Suppress myself
• Avoid situations

If someone was born without a leg you wouldn’t think “gee they must be dumb to not have figured out how to regrow their leg.” Autism is how you are from birth, it’s part of who you are, you can’t smart your way out of having autism any more than the other person can smart their way to regrowing their leg.